Confession: I didn't plant a garden this year.

For some reason, I thought I could accomplish all my hopes for my life in one year. I got a great job right out of college, I found my own place, I made it welcoming and beautiful, I planted bulbs that bloomed beautifully, I transferred my church membership and integrated more fully into my church as an adult, I ate minimal amounts of meat, I supported local businesses, I built new and exciting friendships, and I started getting more comfortable with my new, post-college identity.

But one of my expectations for grown up living was that I would grow my own vegetables. And I thought I would rock at it on the first try.

Look at that confidence. Having taken a class on urban agriculture, coming from a long line of farmers and gardeners, and feeling somewhat settled in my neighborhood, I felt that a huge garden would be easy.

So I ordered seeds (heirloom, since they're the coolest colors, best tasting, and are less boring than the stuff you find in grocery stores) and mapped out my garden.

My yard is really pathetic. It's mostly sand, chunks of concrete, and large islands of neglect. There's a funny fenced off area in the back that seems to have once been a compost pile, and I figured there might be some soil there. My landlord gave me permission, and I started to clear it out. 

It took me 6 hours to get to this point. Seriously, it was terrible. You wouldn't even believe the things I found back there.

When I had it all cleared out, my wall-sharing-neighbors noticed that it would be a good garden space. They wanted to plant there too. I was a little annoyed, since I had done so much work to clear it out and already had a plan in mind. But all of my training in community development told me that sharing a common food growing space would be huge for developing relationships, so we agreed to share it. 

Unfortunately, I lost interest in working soil that I wouldn't use and in revising my plan to fit in half the space. The weeds took over, and neither of us ever went back to clear it out again. We didn't end up planting anything.

I'm ok with not having a garden. I'm ok with not even having attempted. I'm ok with getting my vegetables from the farmers market this year. I'm ok with the extra energy it takes to be kind and hospitable to my neighbors, not just my friends. 

And I'm learning.